I become despondent when I don't get away for several days it's as if the travel is somehow stabilizing my mental state.
Father is heartened that I am doing so much better, but he remains cautions, as we have tried so many treatments that have not had any lasting effects. As M suggested, we are waiting a few months to see if this is a permanent state.
M is an intriguing character. Being around him is so calming that my minds clears immediately and I am able to understand everything around me perfectly. The delusions and strange creatures that plague me are held at bay, and we talk for a very long time about life and why I am afflicted so.
He laughed when I told him the nun story, and he looked quite scary when I told him about the preacher. He says that perhaps certain dreams may be things I have seen and forgotten. When he left he asked me to try to dream of the most calming place I have been. That would be the glade, but the underwater world was also nice. He said to picture a ship for these travels, so I don't panic when I find myself underwater and encounter large creatures like the (spike?) fish.
As I have a difficult time picturing the ship without wanting to build it I have started plans for a real one based on those in father's shipyards, similar to my models but able to float and maneuver underwater or in the sky.
sketch hanging on wall of office area.